She gave life over and over — only to be discarded like used goods.
Worn Out
I didn’t know I was born for pain. I was just a puppy — small, clumsy, unloved. Worn Out from the beginning, even before I had a chance to live. The first scent I remember wasn’t my mother’s fur, but concrete, metal, and stale water. No warmth. No comfort. Only loud noises, your rough laugh, and the clatter of metal bowls thrown to the floor.
I was small. Fragile. But full of hope. I loved curling up next to my mother, feeling her heartbeat. Her tongue cleaned me, warmed me. There were many of us, but whenever she touched me, I knew I was alive. I still believed life had a gentle side. That tenderness existed.
When you picked me up for the first time, I didn’t know you were a devil in human form. I thought I was special to you. That you’d love me. Because I would have loved you. I love everyone. That’s how I’m made. A dog doesn’t know how to hate by birth.
But love wasn’t what you offered. It was something else. Silent, cruel, invisible violence that sank under my skin. It started with food that had no taste. Water that was always lukewarm and stale. At first, I hoped you were just tired. That one day you’d smile. That you’d pet me.
But the days passed, and all you cared about was that I grew. That I was ready.
I didn’t know your “love” had a price.
I grew up fast. You wanted it that way. You shoved food into me like into a machine — just to make me mature quickly. You didn’t even wait for my first birthday. You bred me right away. I didn’t know what was happening. My body burned, and my soul shrank like a fading star. You weren’t there to comfort me. Only to watch. To count days. To calculate.
You fed me like a machine — fast, hard, never with care. I grew, but I was growing Worn Out, long before I was “ready.”
Do you know how it feels when your body is ripped from the inside, and you don’t even have the strength to bark? To fight? To say “No”?
Do you know how it hurts to carry life inside you, but no one acknowledges it? When you have no bed, no blanket, not even a name. Just a number. A function. Just waiting.
My first litter you sold as soon as they opened their eyes. One by one. You didn’t even touch them. And I frantically searched for their scent. I couldn’t understand: Where are they? Where did they go? Why won’t you let me say goodbye? I couldn’t complain to my mother because she mysteriously disappeared, and later I found out where — her fate called mine.
Every time you took them, a piece of me died. You knew that. You wanted me Worn Out, broken, too tired to resist.
Sometimes I could hear them. Their little voices. But not for long. Only a few days. Maybe weeks. Then — silence. Emptiness. Blood. Milk leaking even when there was no one to feed. My breasts aching from pressure, from grief, from lack of touch.
Do you know how many times I bled, but you didn’t see it? How many times I shivered lying on bare ground, trying to protect my last puppy who still wasn’t dead?
I looked into his eyes. He had my eyes. And he wasn’t breathing. And I couldn’t stop licking him. Telling him to come back. Softly. In a dog’s language. A language without words, but full of pain.
And then again, again, again, and again — cesarean section. When you decided I was no longer able to give birth “naturally.” I remember the cold table, the pain, I remember I didn’t even get to lick them before you took them away.
After that… I was no longer needed.
You said I was “done.” That I was “Worn Out.” That I was “a loss.”
Do you know how it feels when the life you gave becomes the reason you’re no longer wanted?
You threw me out.
And no — you didn’t set me free. You sent me to death. By the roadside. With stitches still in me. With bleeding wounds. Beside a basket of leftovers, as if I’d be grateful. As if I wouldn’t know.
But you know what? I knew. I knew everything. Every fake smile. Every ounce of your contempt. Every one of your calculations.
I just couldn’t speak.
And then — a hand. Another hand. Not like yours. It touched me gently, and for the first time, I didn’t flinch. I had no strength. I was empty. They saved me. Brought me back from the dark. And someone kissed my ears, for the first time without interest. For the first time without expectations. And someone gave me a name. A real name. And someone said: “She’s ours.”
She. Me. The dog you threw away. The mother dog you used like an incubator.
Want to know how I survived?
I didn’t. The one who believed you died then. And now I live for those who know what love means.
Imagine, now I have a warm bed. I have fresh water always. And I have quality food — imagine, I even have toys. I have forests to run in. I still have pain, yes — the wounds remain, but my soul is alive again.
Sometimes, when I sleep, I jerk awake. I dream of your footsteps. I dream of dark walls. I dream that someone takes my babies again. I dream of bleeding, and no one comes. And then I open my eyes — and someone is there. A human, but different. With eyes full of light.
I don’t hate you.
Because if I did, I’d be like you.
But I want you to know… I hear every whisper that says: “It’s just a dog.”
I’m not just a dog. I am a mother. I am a being that loves, that cries, that remembers. And I am proof that beasts are not the ones who bark or bite. They are the ones who count money, throw away, and forget.
If you ever read this — I know you won’t cry. But maybe someone else will stop and think. Maybe someone else, who has a female dog today, will choose to love her, not use her.
And you…
I won’t look for you even in my dreams.
But your actions live in every dog that bleeds in a cage today. In every puppy taken too soon. In every body that doesn’t grow old.
So I will bark. And growl. And write.
Because someone gave me a voice now.
And I won’t be silent.
Never again.(Worn Out)
💬 Final Reflections
🌿 Healing Words:
“Even the most worn out hearts still beat for something better.”
“She wasn’t broken — just worn out from surviving.”
“Worn out, not worthless.”
“Her scars don’t make her weaker — they show how much she endured while worn out.”
“She gave until she was worn out, and still found a reason to stay soft.”
“Some souls are worn out, not because they’re weak, but because they’ve carried too much love.”
“She didn’t need saving — just rest for her worn out soul.”
“Even the worn out bloom again — in safe hands.”
“They used her, left her worn out — and still, she loved.”
“Love didn’t erase the pain, but gave her worn out heart a reason to wake up.”
🐾 Want to Help?
Support animal protection groups that fight against puppy mills and cruelty:
🔗 https://www.humaneworld.org/en
🔗 https://www.aspca.org/
